C.s. Lewis The Four Loves Quotes

C.S. Lewis, a renowned British writer, theologian, and scholar, delved into the complexities of human relationships in his book, “The Four Loves.” Through his insightful quotes, Lewis explores the various dimensions of love, shedding light on its different forms and the profound impact it has on our lives. In this article, we will delve into some of C.S. Lewis’ most thought-provoking quotes from “The Four Loves,” along with additional quotes related to the theme. We will also provide valuable advice from professionals who relate to C.S. Lewis’ ideas, aiming to inspire and guide readers in their own journeys of love and relationships.

C.S. Lewis Quotes from “The Four Loves”:

1. “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

2. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'”

3. “Love is not affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”

4. “Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.”

5. “Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness.”

Other Quotes Related to the Theme:

1. “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

2. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” – Victor Hugo

3. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

4. “Love is an endless act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an endless act of love.” – BeyoncĂ©

5. “We are most alive when we’re in love.” – John Updike

Advice from Professionals Relating to C.S. Lewis’ Ideas on Love:

1. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, advises, “Friendship is the foundation of any strong relationship. Cultivate shared interests, spend quality time together, and show genuine interest in your partner’s life.”

2. Esther Perel, a psychotherapist and author, suggests, “Embrace the paradox of love. It requires both security and adventure, comfort and novelty. Find a balance between familiarity and excitement in your relationship.”

3. Dr. Sue Johnson, a psychologist and developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy, emphasizes, “Communicate with empathy and compassion. Listen actively, validate your partner’s feelings, and express your own emotions in a non-confrontational way.”

4. Dr. Harville Hendrix, co-founder of Imago Relationship Therapy, advises, “Practice intentional dialogue. Create a safe space to share your deepest fears, desires, and dreams with your partner. This fosters emotional intimacy and understanding.”

5. Gary Chapman, author of “The Five Love Languages,” suggests, “Discover your partner’s love language and speak it fluently. Whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch, love in a way that resonates with your partner.”

6. Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, states, “Understand that love is not a fixed state; it goes through different stages. Nurturing love requires effort, adaptability, and a willingness to grow together.”

7. Dr. BrenĂ© Brown, a research professor and author, reminds us, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. Embrace vulnerability, knowing that it is an essential ingredient for deep connections.”


C.S. Lewis’ exploration of love in “The Four Loves” provides a profound understanding of the complexities and beauty of human relationships. Through his quotes, we are reminded of the vulnerability love entails, the transformative power it possesses, and the importance of friendship, kindness, and empathy. In addition to Lewis’ insights, we have included quotes from other inspirational figures that further illuminate the theme of love. Furthermore, the advice from relationship professionals offers practical guidance on nurturing and strengthening our connections with others. By incorporating these teachings into our lives, we can cultivate more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Common Questions:

1. What are the four types of love according to C.S. Lewis?

– The four types of love according to C.S. Lewis are affection, friendship, eros, and charity.

2. What does C.S. Lewis mean by “to love at all is to be vulnerable”?

– C.S. Lewis suggests that love inherently involves vulnerability because it requires opening oneself up emotionally to another person, risking potential hurt or rejection.

3. What is the difference between affection and friendship, according to C.S. Lewis?

– Affection is a love born out of familiarity, while friendship is a love sparked by the discovery of shared interests and experiences.

4. How does C.S. Lewis define eros?

– C.S. Lewis defines eros as a passionate and romantic love, often associated with desire and attraction.

5. What does C.S. Lewis mean by “love is not affectionate feeling but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good”?

– C.S. Lewis suggests that love is not merely an emotional sentiment, but a genuine desire for the well-being and ultimate fulfillment of the person we love.

6. How can we cultivate a strong friendship, as advised by Dr. John Gottman?

– Dr. John Gottman recommends nurturing shared interests, spending quality time together, and showing genuine interest in your partner’s life to cultivate a strong friendship.

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